So it seems Pearson airport is firing its nurses — who handle 700+ patients per month, meeting them at or on the plane if necessary — and turning their jobs over to the Peel Fire Department and local ambulances (i.e., if there’s an emergency at the airport they’ll just call 911).

But [spokesperson for the Greater Toronto Airports Authority ]Armstrong said passengers shouldn’t worry about the changes. “There’s no change to the level of service that’s being offered to passengers or the safety of passengers.”

How can anyone say that with a straight face? Perhaps Armstrong is a robot.