Look, I am new to the city and I am lonely. My husband is busy day and night doing important and confidential things that he cannot talk to me about. What is a woman to do when a sweet, friendly face shows up at her door begging for affection?

Yes, I have been feeding the neighbours’ cat.

G. has been sulking and unwilling to face the truth. But he could stand it no longer. This morning, I got busted.

At first they stared at each other at a polite distance through the kitchen door.

Then the ginger tabby tried to show dominance, only to be frustrated by the impenetrability of the glass. G. simply looked on, impassive and secure in his position.

Frustrated, he left after 10 minutes.

Not a word was exchanged.

And the food was left untouched. I am appropriately chastised.