edit — all done!

Found on the shelf at Loblaw’s.

Of all the things to name a hemp beverage…

Update: More here

As Putin rears his head

and comes into the airspace of the United States of America,

where do they go?

It’s Alaska.

It’s just right over the border.

It is from Alaska

that we send those out to make sure that an eye is being kept on this very powerful nation,

Russia,

because they are right there,

they are right next to our state.

“We have a lot of exotic stuff,” she said.

They had also packed some raw, organic chocolate – made of unrefined, unprocessed cacao, maca root, hemp seeds and goji berries.

“At first the (customs officials) said, ‘Oh, you guys are just holistic.’ Then the dogs came.”

The animals went nuts over the chocolate. A rapid drug test was done, which returned a false positive result for hashish. (Emphasis mine)

Isn’t it completely obvious that anything with significant hemp oil content is a) going to attract the drug dogs and b) going to test positive if you test for hash?

I’m not sure who’s less clueful here, the chocolate-importing couple, the customs folks or the reporter. Are reporters so squeaky clean these days that they’re not familiar with the origin of hash? Hrmph. Bet they don’t have hip flasks either. Get offa my lawn, kid.

SUBJECT: REQUEST FOR URGENT BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP

DEAR AMERICAN:

I NEED TO ASK YOU TO SUPPORT AN URGENT SECRET BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP WITH A TRANSFER OF FUNDS OF GREAT MAGNITUDE.

I AM MINISTRY OF THE TREASURY OF THE REPUBLIC OF AMERICA. MY COUNTRY HAS HAD CRISIS THAT HAS CAUSED THE NEED FOR LARGE TRANSFER OF FUNDS OF 800 BILLION DOLLARS US. IF YOU WOULD ASSIST ME IN THIS TRANSFER, IT WOULD BE MOST PROFITABLE TO YOU.

I AM WORKING WITH MR. PHIL GRAM, LOBBYIST FOR UBS, WHO WILL BE MY REPLACEMENT AS MINISTRY OF THE TREASURY IN JANUARY. AS A SENATOR, YOU MAY KNOW HIM AS THE LEADER OF THE AMERICAN BANKING DEREGULATION MOVEMENT IN THE 1990S. THIS TRANSACTIN IS 100% SAFE.

THIS IS A MATTER OF GREAT URGENCY. WE NEED A BLANK CHECK. WE NEED THE FUNDS AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE. WE CANNOT DIRECTLY TRANSFER THESE FUNDS IN THE NAMES OF OUR CLOSE FRIENDS BECAUSE WE ARE CONSTANTLY UNDER SURVEILLANCE. MY FAMILY LAWYER ADVISED ME THAT I SHOULD LOOK FOR A RELIABLE AND TRUSTWORTHY PERSON WHO WILL ACT AS A NEXT OF KIN SO THE FUNDS CAN BE TRANSFERRED.

PLEASE REPLY WITH ALL OF YOUR BANK ACCOUNT, IRA AND COLLEGE FUND ACCOUNT NUMBERS AND THOSE OF YOUR CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN TO WALLSTREETBAILOUT@TREASURY.GOV SO THAT WE MAY TRANSFER YOUR COMMISSION FOR THIS TRANSACTION. AFTER I RECEIVE THAT INFORMATION, I WILL RESPOND WITH DETAILED INFORMATION ABOUT SAFEGUARDS THAT WILL BE USED TO PROTECT THE FUNDS.

YOURS FAITHFULLY MINISTER OF TREASURY PAULSON

(H/t The Big Picture)

On Sunday May 25, at 1 pm, the City of Toronto and the Chatham West Residents’ Association will name a local laneway that runs parallel to Danforth and Chatham, east of Jones Avenue. Kerr lived on Jones Avenue for 25 years.

Mayoral elections are just not the same without Ben (RIP).

http://www.bnlmusic.com/snacktime/

A colourful and ironic expression of dismissiveness in the face of the unimpressive or ordinary, this North American colloquialism reverses the expectations one might have on first meeting the term, of unnecessary hyperbole and excessive celebration.

How I love the OED.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB122178211966454607.html

from Stephen Harper to ALLNEWS_E@lserv.pmo-cpm.gc.ca
date Sun, Sep 21, 2008 at 3:34 PM
subject Why you shouldn’t fear me

Hi The Average Canadian,

Stephen Harper wanted to tell you…

My name is Stephen Harper. I am an ALBERTAN, here me roar! My goal is to make Canada America’s 51st state and destroy health care that all Canadians cherish by infusing my propaganda with hard core ad hominem attacks. Please vote for me, because if you do, I promise you’ll be able to vote for McCain 2012!

We are a tar sands level party, not a grass roots party. We consider anything with the word \”Green\” offensive, except for the almighty American dollar, which we hope to be able to implement in the coming months! We shall first have to make sure that American and Canadian jelly beans have the same standards, and then we shall proceed.

I hope everyone has a great weekend,

Take care,

Stephen \”I can lead you to Hell but not back\” Harper

If you agree click here.

The message linked to the moronic willyoubetricked.ca site. The answer to that question, by the way, is apparently yes.

(H/t to Inside the Queensway)