Ah, science.

The BMJ’s Christmas issue is full of goodness as usual.

Ingested foreign bodies and societal wealth: three year observational study of swallowed coins

Objective: To examine the relation between coins ingested by children and the Dow Jones Industrial Average.

But sadly, for it would’ve made a fine headline had the results been different,

Conclusion: There was no detectable difference in the total value of coins ingested, or ratio of coins to other objects swallowed, before or after a massive stock market crash