Cary Tennis

reminded me again today why the best approach to his columns is to read the letter, then the comments, and ignore his response:

A very good friend of mine has apparently not invited me to her daughter’s wedding. We have been very close friends for over 10 years, and friendly for nearly 20. I know Miss Manners would say to simply ignore the snub, and I’m inclined to do that. But part of me worries, what if she did send me an invitation and it went astray (I know that is not likely to be the explanation; but it’s possible). The other part of me wonders, should I say something?

It goes on in this vein for a while.

Now, I would have thought this was an easy, easy score – line up the sights, breathe steadily, take the first pressure and squeeze:

– It’s not your friend’s wedding, but her daughter’s.
– Nowhere do you say you have any kind of relationship with the bride. You seem to see this as irrelevant – you should not.
– Based on your general attitude, it’s possible the bride has you pegged as one of her mother’s more overbearing friends.
-You should reflect on these things, and ponder them in your heart. Perhaps a long walk on the beach is in order – Cary is forever telling people to go for long walks on the beach. As advice, this works better in California than, say, Wisconsin, especially in March, but never mind.
– The end.

Instead, he weebles around and talks about wedding ettiquette. The commenters are all over him, but still.