Wellness. We all know it comes from salad dressing.

Wellness dressing??

Originally uploaded by morecoffeeplease.

Yes, it’s true. You may be stressed out by work, living in inadequate housing with inadequate daycare and a car that craps out on you all the time and a violent spouse — at risk of all kinds of chronic diseases — but all you need to do is pour this overpriced dressing on your overpriced organic greens and presto! wellness! Would you like it in peppercorn ranch flavour or perhaps fig balsamic?

O for the day we return to eating real food without crap nutritional claims on it and without absurd names…